" I wish there was someone I could ask for advice, someone who wouldn’t make me feel like a creep for spilling my guts and trying to explain all the insecurities that have plagued me for oh, about 25 years now. I wish someone could explain to me why exactly I have no desire to learn anymore why I used to have so much energy and the need to search for miles and weeks for anything new and different. Excitement. I was once a magnet for attracting new offbeat personalities who would introduce me to music and books of the obscure and I would soak it into my system like a rabid sex crazed junkie hyperactive mentally retarded toddler who’s just had her first taste of sugar.
I tried heroine the first time in 1987 in Aberdeen and proceeded to use it about 10 more times from 87 to 90. When I got back from our second European Tour with Sonic Youth I decided to use heroine on a daily basis because an ongoing stomach ailment that I had been suffering from for the past five years had literally taken me to the point of wanting to kill myself. There were many times that I found myself literally incapicitated in bed for weeks vomiting and starving. So I decided I feel like a junky as it is so I may as well be one. After the last European tour I vowed to never go on tour again unless my condition is either masked or cured. I did heroine for about one month then found myself realizing that I wouldn’t be able to get drugs when we go to Australia and Japan so Courtney and I detoxed in a hotel room.”